Posted on May 5, 2022

I have no one to talk to about my art, so I resort to here. Fuck it. This art thing is difficult. I'm not a quitter, because art defines me. It's who I am. I eat, sleep, walk art. I should get PAID for being a good artist. What bullshit is this? I know you're not seeing my art here yet, if any of you are reading this. If not, then I'm talking to myself like an isolated weirdo. Hopefully a ghost somewhere is reading this.

I did have a different account in this website, but it's dated, and old (about a decade old). Maybe I'll go back there, and try again, but for now, I'm gonna try to start over here, and see what happens.

My opinions here can be wrong, because what I'm about to express may have some contradictions in them but I need to express how I feel before I go crazy.

It's just I hate this social construct, and social media. In the past few years, it's impossible to get recognized for my artworks because my works get completely drowned in a bunch of other people's artworks. They're very good, and very high quality, don't get me wrong, but they're using digital artworks. That shit can get done faster than traditional medium. Have you seen what a "sculptor" can do in computer's 3-D sculpting software on youtube? Go watch it. I dare you. Software does about 70% of the work for the "artists". lol pathetic

Another pathetic thing about art now is a bunch of fucking anime characters with the same fucking anime faces. Fuck these dipshits. I can do that shit all day, but I don't because they look so fucking stupid. Their eyes are too big, and look very flat, that's why I don't like them. Now, kawaii is popular. FUUUUCK that. I'm sick of this. I'm not stooping that low. My art doesn't look shitty like that. Fuck off.

Now, artists are everywhere, and I can't get the spotlight shined on my art. It's dog eat dog world out there. They want the best of the best (and shittiest of the shit), and my art will never be good enough, no matter how hard I work on it. I can work 40-100 hours on a beautiful piece THAT IS ORIGINAL with nearly perfect composition, and no one gives a fuck, no one gives a shit. No money for me. It hurts. Art is extremely difficult, even more so in this modern day and age.

These kawaii and anime artists probably think my art look like shit if they look at them, and might think my art deserves to get downvoted, or thrown into the abyss. Same thing with realism artists. I like realism, but com'on, just use fucking photos. Realism artists are like photo scanners. They're bots with no soul behind their work. No creativity. It's a lot like tattoo artists out there. Many of them are not very good artists, but they can do bang up job on tattoos, and that's because tattooing a copy into the skin is their primary goal, which is fine. Don't get me twisted, I do like realism art, but a true artist has to be able to draw without needing photos too much.

Tried to sell two ORIGINAL coloring books on Amazon. Didn't work. Still not working because they're still on there and I'm not getting paid for them. Barely any money spent on them. Only my family bought one of them as support, but I prefer complete strangers to buy my work, cuz that way I know people actually like my work. Stupid fucking coloring books like Farting Animals coloring books are getting paid by hundreds easily, I mean, they're getting so many positive reviews. Damn. People are so goddamn stupid nowadays.

Tried comic books, didn't work. No one bought them, only friends and family.

Tried original drawings, and tried selling them on eBay, and of course, no one wants them.

THEY WANT FAMOUS CHARACTERS, that's it. It feels like people don't really care about originality, I guess. Right now, I'm giving traditional sculpting medium a try, and it's sculpting a famous character, Batman. I'm also using a celebrity at the same time, so it's Michael Keaton Batman. This time, I'm trying to finish the sculpture of Batman, and hopefully that one will sell. If it does sell, then it's not my art that sells, it's the well known character that people love.

Life sucks, huh? Well, yeah, for an artist.

Fuck this world man. Putting me in a lonely turmoil when it comes to my art. At least, I have a family, a girlfriend I love, and a daughter. Still, I need to do art to make money for my family, because I'm good at it. Why would I work at a place where I'm not doing art? If I'm good at art, then why not take advantage of it? No one wants to be a fan of my art so far, so whatever. Now, I have to spend half my time on this fucking computer to get some form of recognition. I'll keep fighting, and kicking ass with my art, but assholes will try to shut me down because they already prefer well known artists anyway.